Emotional rollercoaster, thats what i would say.
Friday we planned to meet on Sunday evening for dinner, i was kind of looking forward to it.
I mean its been a really long time but somehow i just knew it would not go the way i wanted it to.
In the back of my mind i just knew it was too good to be true.
True enough on Sunday at a bout 1 plus she messaged to say she had a family dinner and had to cancel.
Yep it happened again........
Of course the good thing is that we are meeting this Sunday instead however with Uni starting this week, again the sick feeling is in the back of my mind. Will something just come up and ruin it all once more.
I hope she is not merely agreeing to go out just because she pities me, am i reading to much into this, damn my intellectual mind.........hehe

Something weird happened to me over the weekend.
Firstly after about two months plus of trying to ask her out, I finally said enough was enough and deleted every one of her contacts from my phone.
I mean if its not working after so long I guess its only right that I try something else rather then continue to chase a hopeless cause.
yea so last night after NDP I kinda deleted her contact from my phone after once again failing to ask her out, it was the final effort of my long clumsy chase.
I told my friend who initially introduced her to hang on to her number, and to give it to me once again if I decided to rekindle my efforts.
yea so I sent this one last message- ' yea maybe some other time then'
I did not get any reply most probably cause she was in a bad mood and stuff due to her bastard boss at work, but yea I thought it was the last contact I would most probably have with her.
I felt so free yet hollow inside, I mean its been so long since I had been hardup over a person of the opposite sex. It was the thing that kind of kept me looking forward to the weekends, someone of the opposite sex to confide my worries and express my joy too.
Its different having a friend who is a girl from one who is a guy, the girl always has a different opinion and basically you can talk about things a normal guy friend would try to avoid or just laugh in your face about.
Its just so natural, guy and a girl, made for each other, complement each other.
yea so I was living the life without her on my contact list, it was going fine.

However by lunch time she messaged me!, yea for the first time ever, she took the initiative to msg me first!
Ok she was trying to apologize most probably for not wanting to go out today because of her mood but still she had never done so before.
Now what does this mean, does she have something for me, at least friendship, is she messaging me because she cares about my feelings or because its just the polite thing to do?
yea we exchange messages mostly about her bastard boss and I just tried my best to cheer her up, you know kind of a listening ear.
yea ok so we did not go out anyway but does this mean I should not give up, is this a sign?
I am not an overtly religious person but in mass today I was praying that I be guided in this relationship that I am pursuing, is this something god is telling me.
Or am I just reading to much into all this
Anyways her contact is back on my phone again.
cheers!

Just got back from Orchard, feeling rather sleepy think i will take a nap after this.
Yeh anyway i just watched Fantastic Four and it was fantastic, not the plot though neither the acting but rather fantastic Jessica Alba.
Fantasy babe of the season, she's hot sizzzzzzzzzzzlllllllllllling!!!!

Yeh thats about it i guess, i mean much of the movie is about them discovering and learning how to cope with their powers, the real action only lasts for about i guess 20 mins nearing the end of the movie. It sure lack the action packed punch you get from watching the other superhero movie spiderman.
In my opinion superhero movies can either be very good or a damn downright lousy joke of a movie. Well fantastic four is kind of an exception, not as exciting nor well scripted as spiderman yet not as stupid and lame as Daredevil.
What can i say? if you want to watch a babe doing her thing in a tight suit then i guess go watch fantastic four, but if you are looking for slam bang action sequences, then well i think you should try another movie.

Yeh, i guess this is a pretty shallow post, shall try to post more serious stuff the next time round. Well till then, TATA!

Got some free time now, so I guess its best I update my blog, not nice to keep you readers waiting for too long :)

yea well, I had the second NDP rehearsal at the Padang, Saturday. Yep, the same great feeling of pride for the nation, but somehow it just did not have the same thrill factor as that of the first time. Maybe its because I already knew what was to come so it wasn't so much of a surprise and therefore lacked excitement. Well next week will be the first NE show, meaning that we will be putting up a full dress performance for the P5 kids. With a crowd there guess it will be even more exciting than the rehearsals, well I am looking forward to it.

The funny thing is that, what was really exciting...Ok maybe not exciting but rather new to me happened after the parade. yea see we were on the bus on the way back to Police Academy and we somehow got stuck in a mini traffic jam in Geylang. I did not know where we were initially until one of the divisional policeman joked about how 'business has started' that's when I realized those ladies on the streets were prostitutes. As we moved further up the road it gradually became more 'busy', I mean the street was practically swarming with men looking for sex and prostitutes were practically at every street and corner offering their services.
It was really an eye opener for me, I mean I always knew this thing existed, but to see it in action plus the vastness in the scale it was operating on just........ Basically my eyes popped out of my head.
There were many bangladeshi workers along with local men prowling the streets making their selections. What really stuck in my mind was this tall skinny bespectacled local, he wore this polo tee tucked into his pants and his hair was gelled flat onto his head. He gave the impression of this mamma's boy, but to think he was actually scouting for sex, he moved awkwardly through the crowd seemingly like a lost boy in the heat of all the action going around. He was ashamed probably but his desire for sex obviously outweighed whatever pride he had.
People from all backgrounds could be seen there making their deals and discussing the prices right on the street. The scene was really an eye opener for me.

Seriously are Singaporean men really so sex deprived? So much for the supposedly moral society I had envisioned that I was living in. Do we really need to satisfy our urges in such a manner?
Is sexual pleasure so required?

Ok guess this post is getting a little long so will end off here.