Its kinda amazing how the weekend seems to whiz by and the weekdays seem so draggy.
Especially since NDP rehearsals have started on saturday, the amount of free time i have is now almost close to nothing. I mean i am practically on a six day work week here! hello labour unions you hear me!!!!!

Yeh anyway instead of living in a world of speculation i asked Whye Kiat to help me find out what she thought of me. I don't really know what this means but she said that I was 'ok' and a good friend to have around.
Is that good or bad? perhaps I am not bringing my message across clearly enough?
Man I don't know, what the hell must i do to get someone.
Ok maybe its too soon but it would be nice if i could see her more often.
Anyway its back to PA soon see you next week.
Any advice please tag!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend did not go too well for me.
Firstly I was bored stiff most of the time at home and secondly I don't think all is going as well as I hoped with her.
Lets talk about the boring part first, yea I literally spent the last two days stoning at home, all of a sudden it seemed like I had no friends at all. Felt damn lonely and basically wondered if I really had 'friends' who actually really wanted to hang out with me, or rather do so just out of courtesy, or because they are bored stiff also. The question comes to mind, how do I know my friend is indeed a friend, how would I know that what I regard him or her as is the same as the way the person regards me as.
Ok maybe I am just suffering from the NS syndrome where we only get to bee free on weekends but seriously I have often felt increasingly lonely these past weeks. You guys should know me I am seldom unhappy and usually happy go lucky but for these past few weeks, I seem to be in the dumps.
Nothing seems to excite me, I feel that I am just existing desperately seeking true companionship.

Then there is the thing about her. I really felt all was going well but it seems that maybe this thing was not meant to be. Well there is really nothing in the first place, we only went out once!
But I really felt that something was special, but now I feel that maybe she is not feeling the same way as how I feel about her.
I have not really made known my intentions but I keep getting the suspicion that she replies and talks to me out of courtesy and not out of want. Our conversations seem to have lost its flair and I kind of feel she is trying to avoid going out with me by inventing excuses.
I don't know maybe I am just overly suspicious or because I am just down this week, I just hope this passes by fast.
By next week hopefully I would have solved this and found out indeed the truth of this relationship.

Today for one I was really down so I bought this greenday CD to cheer myself up, well it helped a little. I then set off for a run to Lower Seletar reservoir, reached there after a tiring jog of about half an hour. The run was worth it though the scenery was truly a beautiful sight. The park must certainly be one of the natural jems in our otherwise urban city.
Not many people were there mostly anglers and couples snuggling and for that brief moment I felt so alive. It did not matter I was alone, I was happy and in awe of nature.
I strolled to the jetty and gazed out into the distance admiring the cloud formations and the beautiful reflection of the sun's rays on the waters. The reservoir gleamed in the sunshine, a gentle breeze creating gentle ripples in the water as birds skimmed the water surface seemingly to be playing a game of catch.
I stayed there for a good twenty minutes enjoying the sight as a lone tear flowed down my cheek. Sometimes friends are important but maybe sometimes solitude is necessary.

Hi guys I am back for the long weekend.
Well not that long for me, see I was stuck at Nee Soon Camp for most of my Saturday staring at the rain. Yeh so my long weekend is just a 2 day weekend.
Ok i am talking crap here that don't mean no nothing basically because I am freaking bored, just watched the Beautiful Mind on the tele just now, and have nothing to do now.

Hmm lets see what I can write about.

ok check this out.

When
When I was ten and fourImmature was I before
Met a girl one fateful day
Yet scared her off two months from that day
At that time young I was
Deal with relationships I did not know how
Stupid things did I say
Which now haunt me to this day
Now ten and eight am I today
More mature, if you may
Yet stupid things still I say
Afraid to open my mouth some days
Recently met a girl again
Knowing not what to say
I smiled in a foolish way
Probably scared her a mile away
Unsure now I am today
Confused some might say
What should I do when I see you again
To tell the things i mean to say

Its the fifteenth of May, time sure seems to be passing by rather quickly.
If I were still schooling right now I would be eagerly awaiting the June holidays.
But now no holidays to look forward to.
I kind of miss the schooling life, the holidays especially when you basically have nothing to do and are free to do anything you want.
Miss waking up late and going swimming or just hanging out, time was not a factor.
Right now however freedom is limited only to the weekends and even then you can't really enjoy it properly. Every second I seem to be looking at the clock dreading every minute that passes indicating the return to camp.
Relaxation during the weekends seems to have become more of a chore than anything else. How ironic! I spend so much time worrying and packing my weekends with activities, I actually start to lose the relaxation and enjoyment part.

Even writing this blog seems to become not of want but of necessity because I won't be able to blog for till next weekend!
Man!

Feeling really nice today, probably because of what happened yesterday.
Kind of happy probably infatuated.

So after knowing her for about three weeks over the phone and the com, I finally asked her out. How I first knew her is kind of weird and some would say really shallow.
This is how it happened-
I first saw her in her school's yearbook and just felt she was really cute, so jokingly I asked my friend who was a close friend of hers to give me an intro.
Little did I know my friend took it seriously and gave me her number. The first few messages were kind of awkward, cause it was really weird to be introduced over SMS, and neither of us knew what the other was like.
I believe it was the trust she had in my friend that allowed our messaging to take place.
So we began messaging nothing much really which finally progressed to me asking her out.

It was not really a date, date thing. We just planned to hang out.
yea, we did not really recognize each other so we had to call each other when we arrived at our meeting place.
We planned to meet at the control station. But we were standing at opposite ends of a pillar so we spent five minutes looking for each other as we somewhat circled the pillar and kept missing each other.
She looked really sweet, I don't know how love at first sight is supposed to feel but I was close to it.
We chatted and basically wandered around waiting for our movie to start, I was constantly fumbling over my words, hope she did not notice them though.
After the movie we proceeded to coffee club for dinner and basically sat there talking for about close to three hours sharing a mud pie for desert.
She is really petite, and I just felt I had to escort her home. yea so basically I 'walked' her home all the way to tiong bahru before we said goodbye. It was a long trip home but overall I felt great.

Its probably too soon to say anything, I mean we only known each other for 3 weeks. But hopefully she feels the same way about me too.

Monday! labour day.
Man I feel totally zonked out today, feeling tired but I don't want to sleep, seems like such a waste of time.
Was up most of last night, time practically just flew by. We started talking at about 1 plus then before we knew it it was 340am.
Man! Have not talked on the phone for so long in years now, memories of past times starting to come back.
Just a light hearted chat I guess, it however stalled on many a occasion, when there was nothing but quiet between us over the phone.
usually after that one of us would come up with a silly question or something and the conversation continued.
topics really had no value what's so ever but it was just entertaining and engrossing that it was a great reluctance that I finally said goodbye.